


Date Knight

by WarlockWriter



Series: Knight Moves [2]
Category: Knight Rider (1982)
Genre: Fluff, Food, Gen, Sort of a date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter/pseuds/WarlockWriter
Summary: Set somewhere between 1x14 and 1x19. In other words, after KITT promised to go "burger joint cruising" with Michael and before meeting Stevie.KITT makes good on his promise to go cruise a burger joint with Michael.
Series: Knight Moves [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558063
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Date Knight

**Author's Note:**

> So my first coda turned into a second which seems to be turning into a series, and, because it's how my brain works, this series also includes Never Apart. The codas lead up to that story.

“Michael?”

“Yes, KITT?” Michael noted that his partner sounded hesitant, which was odd for the car.

“You made me promise to go ‘cruise a burger joint’ with you.”

Michael was amused that KITT had somehow learned to make air quotes with no hands, just with voice emphasis. How much was he rubbing off on the Trans Am? “I did. Are you trying to back out on me?”

“No, Michael. I was wondering if we could do that today.”

They were on their way back from a mission and still had another day of driving to go. Michael was getting hungry, and a burger sounded good. “Sure. Find us a burger place on the way.” He thought for a moment. “Try to find us a drive in.”

“A drive in?”

Michael laughed. “Look it up. You’ll see why.”

There was silence from KITT for about half a mile before he said, “There is apparently an original ‘Sonic’ drive in about two hours away in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Does that sound like what you intended?”

Two hours was a long time with his stomach already starting to growl, but he still found himself grinning. “Definitely, KITT. Sonic is a classic, and to go to the original location? Yes. That will be an experience to remember.”

“If you say so.”

The drive seemed to take forever, but they finally arrived. Michael parked near one of the outside jukeboxes and perused the menu. He knew what he wanted, but he thought he’d double check. Just in case.

“Aren’t you going to go inside, Michael?”

Before he could answer, the car hop rolled up on skates. “Welcome to Sonic. May I take your order?”

“Double cheeseburger, large fries and large chocolate shake.”

The car hop snapped her bubble gum while she wrote down the order and then wheeled off again.

“You order out here?”

Michael was fiddling with the jukebox, trying to find just the right song. Finally, he smiled and selected “Take It Easy.”

“That was the first song I played for you.”

“I know. And yes, we order and eat out here. That’s the point of a drive in.”

“But why? Wouldn’t you rather eat inside?”

Michael lightly stroked his steering yoke. “No. This way I can eat with you.”

“Michael! I don’t eat. You know that.”

Michael detected a hint of tease in his tone, but he played along anyway. “All right Mr. Literal. I will eat in your company. What’s the point of cruising a burger joint with you if I’m not…well…with you?”

A pause. “That seems logical. But what exactly does one do while cruising a burger joint?”

“Depends. Are you looking for a date? Then you drive up in your hottest car, all shined and waxed, and look available. Do you already have a date? Then you show up so everyone can be impressed by the hot date you’ve got.”

A longer pause. “Since you don’t have a date, then I assume you’re using me to attract a woman?”

Michael heard the tiny bit of hurt in KITT’s tone, so he made his as warm as he could. “What makes you think I don’t have a date? I’m with you, aren’t I?”

KITT’s hum got a little louder. “But I’m a car. You don’t go on dates with cars.”

Michael shrugged. “Says who? I think I’m allowed to date whomever I’d like. And right now, I’m out with you. So, it’s a date.”

He gave KITT some time to digest that. “But aren’t dates intended to lead to…sex?”

“They can,” Michael agreed. “But they don’t have to. Sometimes you don’t want to move that fast. Sometimes you want to get to know the other person first.”

“I’m not a person. And you already know me.”

Michael stroked KITT’s steering yoke again, the smooth plastic cool against his hands. “Okay, technically, you’re right. You’re not a person. But you’re my friend. And dates with friends are good too.” Fortunately, he didn’t think KITT knew about being “just friends” so he wouldn’t take the statement the wrong way. Michael had an end game in mind, but he wasn’t in a hurry. He’d guide KITT one step at a time, as far as he wanted to go.

The hum increased for a moment before going back to its steady thrum. “Then what does one do on a date with a friend?” Michael heard interest in his partner’s tone, and he smiled quickly in satisfaction. This was going to work, and he had a surprise for KITT.

“Talk, usually. Anything you want to talk about?”

KITT didn’t speak for nearly a minute. Michael waited. Finally, the car said, “I have a question. But it might be awkward.”

“Nothing you could ask would be awkward, KITT. Go ahead and ask.”

“I have an extensive database of pornography now, and I have been perusing it.”

Michael’s eyebrows climbed into his hair line. “You have been?”

“It seemed important for the  _ Escape _ mission.”

“Okay, you have a solid porn education now. What’s your question?”

“Why do people like it? What’s the purpose of seeing scantily clad women?”

Michael had to suppress his laugh. He didn’t want KITT to take it the wrong way. “Well, KITT, how much do you know about sex?”

“That it’s what you humans and other animals do to reproduce yourself.”

Michael reminded himself not to let KITT talk with fundamentalists. They generally didn’t like being reminded that humans were animals too. “That’s true, but there’s a bit more to it than that.”

“Obviously. You do it with young women, and yet I’ve never heard you speak about offspring.”

He wasn’t sure he was going to make it through this conversation without damaging something by trying not to laugh. “Right. Well, most of the time we do it because it feels good.”

The car hop returned just then with his meal. Michael thanked her and picked up his burger. “Can we put a pin in the sex conversation for a moment? I have something I want to try.”

“Certainly, Michael.”

Michael broke off a bit of his burger and held it to KITT’s chemical analyzer. “What do you think of that, buddy?”

His sensor hummed, and the display lit up in concentric circles. “That doesn’t seem to match the FDA recommendations for a healthy diet. Do you have any idea how much fat is in that, Michael? Not to mention salt?”

This time Michael couldn’t restrain his laugh. “Okay, fair point. But it tastes good.”

KITT’s hum intensified. “So eating food that is bad for you is good like having sex when you’re not reproducing is good?”

Only a car would make that connection, but Michael had to admit there was some truth to it. “That’s not a bad comparison actually. Yeah, I could eat salads, but this is so much better.”

“May I try it again?”

Michael held it next to his sensor again. KITT hummed thoughtfully. “So that percentage of fat, salt and carbohydrates is pleasing to you?”

“Don’t forget the meat, but yes. It is.”

“Why do you enjoy doing things that are unhealthy for you?”

Michael took a bite of his burger before answering. “Because we’re human. Apparently evolution didn’t instill good sense in us. Want to try a fry?”

“Certainly. For comparison purposes.”

Michael held a fry to the sensor.

“Michael! I think that’s even worse!”

“Probably. But they are so good.”

“What’s in the cup?”

“A chocolate milkshake.” He considered for a moment. “I’m not sure how to do this without making a mess.” Finally, he just took the top off the cup and held the whole thing near to KITT’s sensor.

KITT hummed longer on this one. “Excessive sugar, but then apparently you enjoy that as much as you enjoy fat. What’s the flavor?”

“That’s chocolate. One of God’s gifts to mankind.”

“I thought that was fire. I’m certain God wouldn’t have gifted you with something so unhealthy. Are you sure it wasn’t Satan who gave it to you?”

Michael had known KITT long enough to recognize the teasing in his tone. “That was the apple, KITT. See, God gave us the good stuff. It was Satan who tried to tempt us with the healthy stuff.”

“This explains much, Michael.”

Michael put the top back on his cup and took a long, contented slurp. “Probably. Well, that’s something else you do on dates. Share food with each other.”

“But I have nothing to share.”

“That’s fine, buddy.” Michael indicated his meal. “I’ve got plenty here.” He ate a few fries and then added, “So, back to your original question about porn.” He’d never really thought about how to explain it before, but he finally decided on, “Sex is as much a state of mind as the body. And sometimes the mind needs to be in the right place. Porn can do that. Plus, most men like looking at women, even if they aren’t in the mood for sex.” He shrugged. “It’s what we do.”

“If you need help to ‘get into the right place’ then why not just wait until another time?”

“Because people don’t work that way. Sometimes you don’t want it, but your partner does, and you want to make them happy. Or…well, sometimes you just want to jack off, but the body isn’t quite ready, and you need a little help.”

“It sounds complicated.”

“I guess it would seem like that to you. For us, it’s just the way we work.”

“You humans are confusing sometimes.”

He suspected if KITT  _ could _ shrug, he’d be doing it right now. “Most of the time, probably, KITT.”

“So you like porn, Michael?”

“Sure. If I’m in the mood for it. I don’t have any subscriptions, though. It’s more an occasional thing.”

Michael ate his lunch while he waited for KITT’s next response or question.

“Michael, does love require sex?”

He had a bite of burger in his mouth as KITT asked the question, and he shook his head vigorously until he could answer. “No. Definitely not. They often go together, but you can absolutely love someone without sex being in it. Plus, you can have sex without love being involved.”

“So you didn’t love all the women you’ve had sex with?”

“No. I  _ liked _ them all. I felt some emotional connection with them, but I can’t say I loved any of them.”

“Have you ever loved someone?”

This was getting into uncomfortable territory, and, while Michael had resolved to always be honest with KITT, this was something he didn’t want to talk about right now. “I have been, but it was a long time ago, and no offense, buddy, but it’s not something I’m ready to talk about.”

“I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Michael lightly thumped the dash. “It’s fine. Anything else?”

“No. I think I know as much as I need to right now about sex and pornography. Since as a car, I’m not going to ever have sex, and now I know about pornography, even though I don’t find it interesting.”

Michael laughed. “You don’t want to cuddle up to a nice Corvette? They have good lines.”

“Michael! No! Other cars can’t talk. I like someone to converse with.” A pause before he shyly added, “Like with you.”

“Thanks, buddy. I enjoy spending time with you too.” He finished his burger, downed the last few fries and put everything on the tray.

A moment later, the car hop came back to pick everything up. “Need anything else?”

“Want anything, KITT?”

The car hop gave him an odd look, but Michael just smiled at her.

“No, thank you, Michael. This has been very enjoyable and instructive.”

Michael turned to look out the window. “Nope, we’re good. Thanks!”

“Uh, yeah. Was that your car talking?”

“Of course. He’s quite articulate.”

The car hop wheeled away, shaking her head. Michael just grinned after her. No one but him really understood KITT, and that was okay. They understood each other, and that’s what mattered.

“Let’s go, buddy. Our next mission awaits.”

“That’s true, Michael. Shall we actually plan the next one instead of winging it?”

Michael laughed. “Where would be the fun in that?”

And off they drove.


End file.
